It’s kind of cool growing up in an entertainment town. Nashville is not as big as L.A. or New York, but there tends to be something happening every night of the week. And it’s usual to run into some celebrity when you are out on the town. And if you don’t run into someone famous, you will probably meet a bunch of people who think they are famous or are trying to become famous. At times, it seems like everyone here is a “musician.” I think 82% of the males in this town between the ages of 18-35 claim to play the guitar.
I wanted to be famous; well i used to.
I thought about becoming an actor. I think I’d be really good. I’d be good at pretending to be someone other than myself. I could get used to making a lot of money. I also wanted to be a TV game show host. I really wanted Bob Barker’s job on The Price is Right. I wanted his 70s style microphone/wand thing. And all of the old ladies who come up on stage and kiss me on the cheek, I mean who wouldn’t want that job?
If I became famous, I’m afraid I would get too wrapped up in myself. Maybe that’s why God hasn’t let it happen. I think most people have a desire to be somebody. I think most people wouldn’t mind being recognized for what they do. We all, in some way, seek the attention of others. We all have our own times when we say, “Look at me. Look how cool I am. Look at how attractive I am. Look at how funny I am. Look at how much higher I am on the social ladder than you.” Most people in some way struggle with vanity.
Honestly, I can’t turn on MTV anymore.
I really just get bothered by everything on there. Cribs. Seriously? If I watch this, I just become envious. I need a sub zero fridge filled to the brim with nothing but Crystal and a garage filled with way too many cars. All of those “reality” shows about beautiful people and their day to day drama. I just really don’t care about who broke up with who. I can’t even get a date myself, why would I care about somebody’s love life who lives in a house with 7 strangers? It seems like nothing but a bunch of people promoting themselves and telling me if I want to achieve a higher status I need to live like they are living.
Self promotion. It’s the idea of me showing others how great I am. You know, all of my writings, in all honesty I give credit to God. And if anything positive is taken from them I truly believe its God’s doing and not my own. But at the same time there is something in me that wants people’s attention. There is something in me that wants the approval of others.
It’s a struggle. Constantly.
I always have to evaluate my motives because I don’t want to get too caught up in “how great I am.”
And there’s this idea that if you don’t have this certain product, or you don’t look like this certain person, or that you don’t make this amount of money…well then you just are not that important. And most of us fall for it because we want to be important.
I like what John the Baptist said about Jesus. “He must become more important. I must become less important.” He had the right idea.
It’s about Him.
It’s not about me. It’s not about how great I am. It’s not about how good I look. It’s not about how much money I have. It’s not about how well I can sing or play the guitar. It’s not about how well I can write or how many things I can get published. It’s all vanity and it all leads to nowhere.
I want to decrease more often, so He can increase more often.
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