Relating

In my Marriage and Family class last night we talked a lot about the importance of forgiveness. Of course, that forgiveness is a meaningful component when discussing aspects of marriage and family. (It’s really important in all relationships.) So ever since last night I have been thinking about what it means to forgive.

I have made my share of mistakes in regards to relationships. Probably more than my share. There are things I regret. There are feelings that I have hurt. And there are things I wished I would have not said (or said). But that’s a natural part of life. Screwing up and hurting others. I’m not saying it’s a great part of life, but nevertheless it still happens to everyone. There have been times I have beat myself up over the wrongs I have committed in my relationships. Sometimes it seems harder to forgive yourself than it does to forgive others.

Along with my own mistakes, there have been times where I have felt betrayed by others. People have let me down before and they will most certainly do it again. I have held on to grudges. Held on too tightly sometimes. It’s hard to forgive. I mean, this person did me wrong. I trusted them with a part of me and look what I got in return. How many times have we all had that thought? There have been times where I have wished justice on someone who turned their back on me.

Yes, hurting others and being hurt is something we have all experienced and will experience again. So we have to learn to deal with it, right? I know I have apologized to God and the ones I know I have hurt, and I think that’s where forgiving yourself begins. I have grieved deeply over my past mistakes and God has graciously taught me something from each situation. But I don’t dwell on my shortcomings. I think dwelling on these things forces us into a feeling of being trapped by our past. Thankfully, because of His love we don’t have to live in the past; we are offered freedom and love in the present.

I have learned (the hard way) that I can’t dwell on the hurt I have felt from others too. When I spend my time brooding over how someone did me wrong, I am giving that person’s action power over my own life. I am giving them control over my own thoughts and emotions and actions. Also, I know that other people are human just like me. We all screw up. I am no different from them. But you don’t know what this person did to me! I could never forgive them! True, but I know we are all capable of evil. There is no one who is righteous. There is no better way to show God’s love to someone than to forgive someone’s betrayal.

Walk in love…
matt