You know I thought that Father’s Day wouldn’t bother me by now. But I was thinking about it the other day, and it kinda still does. Yes, I have some father issues. Well, they’re not really my issues since I have done all I can to try to have a relationship with my father. But it hasn’t really worked out. Last year I made my mom go see a movie with me on Father’s Day. I don’t hate my dad for his mistakes because hate is a terrible way to live. Hate eats at you and consumes you. Disappointed and let down would be an appropriate way to say how I feel. I’m not sure it’s something I’ll ever get truly ‘over’. It’s just a feeling that I’ve encountered often.
You know, speaking of Father’s Day, I thought I would be having one of my own by now. I have friends with kids. I’m not even anywhere near the place where I’m going to have kids. You have to have more than just yourself involved if you want to have kids.
I’ve heard my fair share of “I just think we should be friends.” That gets old after awhile.
Recently, I sent some writing submissions into a publisher. The only reason I sent them in is because someone who worked there asked me to. I guess they didn’t like them. I didn’t get a response.
Disappointment is a part of life. I have never met anyone who hasn’t experienced it; some people seems like they get it more than others though. Those folks who seem like they have it easy get on my nerves sometimes. I know that I’m wrong in feeling this, but hey at least I’m honest.
Truthfully, I’m jealous of these types of folks. It seems like their life is perfect; like they have everything they’ve ever wanted. And I wish my life had turned out that way. I wish I had landed that job, or gotten married, or had a kid, or…
And I’ve heard all of the cliché sayings that people tell you when you feel like I do.
“God just has something better in store for you.”
“He’s trying to teach you something.”
“His timing is not our timing.”
I know these things but they are not something I really want to hear when I feel disappointed. I think it’s important to admit the bad times though. Admit the hurt. Don’t act like everything is okay.
I watched Rocky Balboa the other night; it’s the Rocky movie Stallone did a couple of years ago. Something he said caught my attention. He was talking with his son about life and the let downs that happen along the way.
“You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward.”
Great wisdom from the Italian Stallion.
I think that is the point to it.
To persevere,
Keep going and moving,
To keep learning and growing.
Allow your hard knocks to transform you into a better person. Share what you’ve learned with others and keep living.
That what James did. He knew persecution. He knew disappointment. And he wrote, “Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds. Because you know the testing if your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.”
To persevere, in the midst of disappointment. This is a virtue I strive for more of.
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