Quick to listen, slow to speak

Last week I had coffee with a new friend of mine. I call him new, but we actually have known each other for awhile. We had one of those casual relationships; the kind where you only speak to each other when you pass by. So, since we were only acquaintances to begin with, it was great to actually get to know him on a deeper level.

I love talking with people. I love hearing people’s stories. I wish I could sit down and talk with a new person everyday. But A: I don’t have that much time now and B: it would be hard to get to know everyone on a deeper level if I spread myself out that much. I still believe though that getting to know someone is such a rewarding experience. It’s almost as if it’s spiritual, even when God is not the topic of conversation. Hey, maybe we are wired for human connection?

Anyways, I heard a verse last week that has been on the forefront of my mind for the last few days. It comes from James chapter 1, one of my most favorite chapters in the Bible.

James 1:19 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

Chances are you may have heard this before. Good wisdom tends to get around. Every time I have heard this verse before though, it’s been about how we shouldn’t rush into anger. That’s a good idea, don’t get me wrong. But I have been thinking about the first part of this verse. “…be quick to listen, slow to speak…”

Many times when I am talking with someone my selfish nature takes over and my thoughts become about what I am going to say next. Many times I find myself not actually listening with my heart and soul to the other person. Many times I find myself fast to speak.

I think what James is trying to say is that our connection with each other is something important and sacred. And because of this, we should actually listen to each other. Not just hear what someone else is saying, but try to listen and understand the heart of the individual. Loving others is supposed to be at the top of our list, right behind loving God. And how can I show someone my love for them if I am not truly taking in what they are saying?

Maybe I should begin to listen more to the people I am talking with, maybe I should think about and meditate on what they are saying so that I can really get to know their heart. Then, after I have heard and feel what their heart and soul are saying to me, that’s when I respond. Don’t rush for a response. Don’t email them back right away. Take the time to try and understand my brother or sister. That’s what I want to do more, and I pray the same for you.

Excuses

You ever have those random conversations with God where He points out something He doesn’t like that’s a part of your life. I had one of those last night while driving home. For some reason God had me thinking about excuses.

Excuses we give Him so we won’t have to do what He says.

“Look God, I know how You want me to live. I know what You think is best .But here’s what I’m going to do.”

“Look at this person over there. They are in worse shape than me.”

“But God, those things You said back in the olden days really can’t apply in our modern society.”

“But God, look at me. I’m in no shape to be a leader.”

“I’d like to give my whole life to You, but I think I’ll just hold on to this little thing.”

“But God my girlfriend and I are married in our hearts.”

“But God it’s not like I’m a murderer or anything serious like that.”

But, but, but…

I know God gets tired of listening to my excuses and honestly I have been tired of giving them for quite some time. I can give out many stories in the Bible about guys making excuses to God. First we have Adam: Hey yeah I ate the fruit God, but it’s the woman’s fault. She gave me the fruit. There’s Moses: “But I’m not good with words. Why do I have to go lead my people out of Egypt?” Then, we have Jonah: it doesn’t record Jonah’s excuse but we know He had one. Anytime you run from God, you have all kinds of excuses. I bet he was scared of the Ninevites.

And of course we know that life would have been much better for the people if they had just obeyed God from the beginning. No wasting time. No debating. Just followed through on their path.

While I was thinking about this I was immediately taken to the story of Jesus’ death. He didn’t give God any excuses. He didn’t whine that the dying for the sin of the world was too much. “Listen God, Good Friday is just not a good day for me, how about next week?” (I don’t think it was called Good Friday back then though.) He knew what He had to do and He followed through. Even though He hadn’t done anything wrong, He took all of our wrongdoings and suffered the punishment for them…all without any excuses. No buts. No running away. No passing the blame.

If He has done that for me, why am, I still making excuses for not living my whole life for Him? Yeah, it’s great to claim to follow Jesus, but to actually follow through with what you say you believe is a different story. To lay your excuses aside and give it all to Him is the only actual way to follow Him. Sure we’ll make some mistakes along the way. Thankfully He has grace. And it’s more than enough. So for me it’s time to start laying my excuses aside and picking up my cross. And I pray the same for you.

An Almost Forgotten Memory

Honestly, I used to be scared of the movie theater. Totally frightened. I must have been around 5 years old when I had this fear. It wasn't the movie theater itself or the smell of stale popcorn or sticky floors that scared me. My fear came from the walls. You know how back in the day the walls of movie theaters had these huge curtains/drapes type deals on the side walls. That's where my fear came from. Those curtain things. I was convinced that something was behind those curtains and it wasn't walls. Some kind of child-hungry monster lived behind those curtains in my mind. I used to demand to sit in the middle so I didn't have to be near them. I had totally forgotten about this fear until I went to the theater recently. I was just sitting there and I had this flashback. I chuckled a bit because I haven't thought about that fear in forever.

The other night I ran into an old friend. I hadn't seen this friend in awhile but immediately I was taken back. The first memory that came to mind was the summer when I introduced my friend to the awesomeness that is the movie You Got Served. Yes, I just admitted that. So what?

Its fun when random memories creep back to mind. Times long forgotten, but I guess not really forgotten at all. I have these random memories pop up every now and then. Many days I get too caught up in whatever it is that is going on to even think about the past. I forget to laugh about the good old days. I forget the lessons I learned in the terrible days as well. God can be good at reminding me though. I wish He didn't have to.

I wish I could always remember that He loves me and is always there for me.

I wish I could always remember that He is my strength during days when I am searching for someplace to hold me up.

I wish I could always remember that His ideas about how to live my life are far wiser than anything I could ever come up with.

The thing is, I know these truths in my soul but I often live like I have forgotten them. I often live like I don't have any memory of the past lessons learned. As if I have some sort of amnesia. But I don’t have amnesia. I just choose to do things my way.

I think we get like this sometimes. We act like we forget about God. We do things our way. We relapse momentarily. “Back slide.” Honestly, I am tired of getting that feeling after I screw up. I hate forgetting about God and His ways. And honestly, when I mess up He’s not at the forefront of my mind. He’s like a forgotten memory.

But I know He deserves more than just being a deity that fades in and out of importance. He desires more than that. And so I want to give Him more than that. I want to remember Him and His guidance on how to live my life every waking moment. I know I’ll screw up from time to time. But I will remember that He is still there and His ways are still worth pursuing. And I pray the same for you…