Quick to listen, slow to speak

Last week I had coffee with a new friend of mine. I call him new, but we actually have known each other for awhile. We had one of those casual relationships; the kind where you only speak to each other when you pass by. So, since we were only acquaintances to begin with, it was great to actually get to know him on a deeper level.

I love talking with people. I love hearing people’s stories. I wish I could sit down and talk with a new person everyday. But A: I don’t have that much time now and B: it would be hard to get to know everyone on a deeper level if I spread myself out that much. I still believe though that getting to know someone is such a rewarding experience. It’s almost as if it’s spiritual, even when God is not the topic of conversation. Hey, maybe we are wired for human connection?

Anyways, I heard a verse last week that has been on the forefront of my mind for the last few days. It comes from James chapter 1, one of my most favorite chapters in the Bible.

James 1:19 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

Chances are you may have heard this before. Good wisdom tends to get around. Every time I have heard this verse before though, it’s been about how we shouldn’t rush into anger. That’s a good idea, don’t get me wrong. But I have been thinking about the first part of this verse. “…be quick to listen, slow to speak…”

Many times when I am talking with someone my selfish nature takes over and my thoughts become about what I am going to say next. Many times I find myself not actually listening with my heart and soul to the other person. Many times I find myself fast to speak.

I think what James is trying to say is that our connection with each other is something important and sacred. And because of this, we should actually listen to each other. Not just hear what someone else is saying, but try to listen and understand the heart of the individual. Loving others is supposed to be at the top of our list, right behind loving God. And how can I show someone my love for them if I am not truly taking in what they are saying?

Maybe I should begin to listen more to the people I am talking with, maybe I should think about and meditate on what they are saying so that I can really get to know their heart. Then, after I have heard and feel what their heart and soul are saying to me, that’s when I respond. Don’t rush for a response. Don’t email them back right away. Take the time to try and understand my brother or sister. That’s what I want to do more, and I pray the same for you.