Honestly, I used to be scared of the movie theater. Totally frightened. I must have been around 5 years old when I had this fear. It wasn't the movie theater itself or the smell of stale popcorn or sticky floors that scared me. My fear came from the walls. You know how back in the day the walls of movie theaters had these huge curtains/drapes type deals on the side walls. That's where my fear came from. Those curtain things. I was convinced that something was behind those curtains and it wasn't walls. Some kind of child-hungry monster lived behind those curtains in my mind. I used to demand to sit in the middle so I didn't have to be near them. I had totally forgotten about this fear until I went to the theater recently. I was just sitting there and I had this flashback. I chuckled a bit because I haven't thought about that fear in forever.
The other night I ran into an old friend. I hadn't seen this friend in awhile but immediately I was taken back. The first memory that came to mind was the summer when I introduced my friend to the awesomeness that is the movie You Got Served. Yes, I just admitted that. So what?
Its fun when random memories creep back to mind. Times long forgotten, but I guess not really forgotten at all. I have these random memories pop up every now and then. Many days I get too caught up in whatever it is that is going on to even think about the past. I forget to laugh about the good old days. I forget the lessons I learned in the terrible days as well. God can be good at reminding me though. I wish He didn't have to.
I wish I could always remember that He loves me and is always there for me.
I wish I could always remember that He is my strength during days when I am searching for someplace to hold me up.
I wish I could always remember that His ideas about how to live my life are far wiser than anything I could ever come up with.
The thing is, I know these truths in my soul but I often live like I have forgotten them. I often live like I don't have any memory of the past lessons learned. As if I have some sort of amnesia. But I don’t have amnesia. I just choose to do things my way.
I think we get like this sometimes. We act like we forget about God. We do things our way. We relapse momentarily. “Back slide.” Honestly, I am tired of getting that feeling after I screw up. I hate forgetting about God and His ways. And honestly, when I mess up He’s not at the forefront of my mind. He’s like a forgotten memory.
But I know He deserves more than just being a deity that fades in and out of importance. He desires more than that. And so I want to give Him more than that. I want to remember Him and His guidance on how to live my life every waking moment. I know I’ll screw up from time to time. But I will remember that He is still there and His ways are still worth pursuing. And I pray the same for you…
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